Family Resilience

Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension. It can come from any event or thought that makes people feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. Stress can be seen as an imbalance between the demands of the family and the ability to cope with those demands. Every member of the family suffers from different sources of stress, social, economic, emotional, mental, and physical. Experiencing these kinds of stress is normal and, in fact, it can have a positive effect in short bursts, such as helping people learn, or make decisions faster. However, if stress is left unchecked it can have catastrophic consequences; some of them could be sleeping problems, arguing, distancing between family members, among others. However, with proper care, communication, love, and balance in the family life, stress stops being an issue.

One of the first things that comes to my mind to avoid the consequences of high stress is resilience. The ability to bounce back from loss, trauma, tragedy, and other stressors is called psychological resilience. We all possess it. Its strength varies from one person to the next, and the stronger our resilience is, the better we cope with stress. Research has identified behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can build up resilience, and the path to strengthening resilience can be a shared journey. Even if each person needs to choose an approach that fits with their values and lifestyle, the family can build resilience together by setting, and helping each other pursue, goals or by taking care of each other. A strong family connection can make a world of difference in stressful situations. 

I met a family a few years back. The parents were between 30-40 years old and had two kids, a little boy, and a teenage girl. This family was much like any other family until the father, who provided for his family as a construction worker, injured his spine during one of his tasks. The injure not only required surgery, but also incapacitated him to work for months. The mother was not working at the time and took care of the children, so they had no way to provide for their needs. I have heard of many families that have crumbled in situations like these, but not this one. This particular family had a strong bond with each other. They often spent time together, and the children were not afraid to be honest with their parents. They laughed together, and they loved one another. It was this bond which made the family as a whole more resilient. The father endured the recovery process because his family took care of him, the mother did her best to provide for the kids and take care of her husband because her family strengthened her, and the kids were not discouraged or depressed because of the situation, but rather they acted optimistic and brought smiles to their parents in the hardest moments because they loved their family.

I believe resilience is a key attribute to cultivate as a family. It has great benefits for each individual of the family, and the process to build it is incredibly wholesome. I have personally seen the positive effects of it in my own life, both with my parents and with my wife. I have been lifted and also strengthened by the bond I share with my loved ones, specially in my most desperate moments. Stress is a normal aspect of life, and it is an overwhelming feeling sometimes, but it does not have to overwhelm you and your family. Stress is a heavy burden to carry, but burdens feel much lighter when more than one person carries them.

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