From Spouses to Parents

Some people think that the love that a mother feels for her child is so much greater than the love of a father that the two can’t even be compared to each other. It is true that a woman's life changes, her body changes, she sacrifices every little nutrient she has, to offer it to the baby. However, most people overlook the fact that the type of love a mother and a father may provide is different, but their kinds of love are never inferior to one another. One could argue that the body of man is also transformed, his mind is never the same again. While the mother dedicates herself 24/7 to taking care of her child, helping the baby survive, the father dedicates his body and soul to helping them both so that, in this fight, they do not lack anything.

The mother begins her battle: to be the best mother in the world. The father starts his own battle: take care of them. And so, the long working hours begin, the sleepless nights looking for better alternatives to build a better future, the mental and even physical absences, putting all his efforts on work because deep down he knows that, at that moment, it is the best way he can find to provide for them. Being a father entails the same goal: They both take care of their family forever, regardless of their age, or how tired they are. They just keep going because, within parenting, there is no such thing as competition. There is only love and teamwork

Of course, things change in their home environment. They might not be able to spend as much time together anymore, or not be able to join in the activities they love, but they have new priorities which demand their time, efforts, and attention. First, they will have to accept that things can no longer be the same because their child is involved in everything they do. Second, they will need a lot of empathy to understand each other’s situation; she might be staying up until late at night taking care of the baby and have much shorter temper because of that; he might be working very long shifts during the day to provide for them, so he might be very stressed. In consequence, if they can’t consider the hardships of the other, they might come to believe that their partner is not being considerate of them. Third, they will need good communication to find a way around their new family life. In kindness, understanding, and love, they must discuss what can they do to keep their relationship strong and happy. Maybe they will need to find a babysitter to take care of their child while they have a date, maybe reorganize the way they divide their household responsibilities, or find ways to have fun and keep a positive attitude during daily tasks.

Bringing a child into the family is a wonderful, beautiful decision to make, but it must never be taken lightly. It will bring the best of the best of the mother and the father, but it can bring the worst in them without proper care. It is possible to maintain a healthy relationship between the mother and the father after children are born, and this will require changing things in their family dynamic to now include their child. These changes, if applied correctly and with consent from the father and the mother, will bring them together instead of apart, regardless of if things are not the same anymore. Making and adapting to these adjustments is difficult, but with enough time, effort and love, things will change for the better in their family life.

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