Healthy Intimacy

 The idea behind maintaining a healthy sex life throughout the time span of a marriage is one that, if acted upon correctly, can lead to the happiest of relationships while reaping many rewards that come with this intimacy. As you might guess, it’s a good thing to have regular sex with your partner. Frequently, being intimate with your partner allows for bonding and connection, this is important in relationships. It allows each person to feel desired and cared for. However, when the sex life of a marriage dwindles or fades, becoming far from what could be considered “healthy”, powerful, negative effects in the relationship can be observed, such as disconnection and frustration.

One of the main reasons as to why a lot of couples have a hard time with their sex life, is that many couples do not talk about sex. Maintaining consistent conversation about their experience during sex and sexual desires acts as a strong way of keeping the connection between husband and wife healthy. Without going into detail, my wife and I have talked openly and honestly about this matter since we were engaged, and our marriage has been much happier for it. In contrast, my wife has shared with me a little bit about a friend of hers that is constantly frustrated about this matter because she and her husband never discuss this topic, so the outcome of that is that she rarely has a good experience during their intimacy, which has caused a rift between them. Instead of letting any of this kind of conversation make you feel weird, talk about them with your partner while keeping an entirely open mind. Hear out exactly what do they want and why.

Another cause of this issue is stress, which is one of the most common and notable causes of an unhealthy sex life. When the world is so stressful, it’s hard for many marriages to be intimate; life gets in way, both husband and wife are extremely busy with work, studies, children, or other responsibilities, and they end up exhausted, after prioritizing things other than their partner. For this kind of situation, a balance must be found to keep a healthy sexual life because, as most people know, the best things in life require sacrifices. Even if you find yourself carried away by chores and duties, you should be trying your best to free up some time for your partner because you never know when he or she might be needing it. Use this time as a way to forget and completely let go; this will allow you to become closer to your spouse and also as a means of relief from the things in life that really do not matter.

You must accept the fact that in a marriage there are going to be sexual characteristics about each other that arise that you may not necessarily view with the same perspective. The key here is to maintain a complete understanding of these discoveries and know that because you are married it is your job to help your partner delve into this part of your relationship. No good ever comes from shutting anything down. The negativity that will arise with approaching any of your partner’s yearnings in a manner that is hurtful or degrading will result in resentment and fear of exploration that will never allow for loving, tender intimacy, so keep your mind always open and work with your partner through their discoveries so that you are both happy with your relationship.

You define your own version of a healthy sex life, and it’s up to you to decide what works for you.